and just like that, as quickly as it began, my first year is over. so it's my last night up here in waterloo, just went out with clinton to shoot some pool. thanks for the game man, sorry i suck so much :) haha. i finished my sociology exam today within the first hour, marking the end of my '3 exams in 3 days' trial. for the most part, they all went okay, but i guess i'll have to wait til the marks come in before i can be sure. hopefully i'll have enough to stay in the program, but that remains to be determined. Anyways, i think im going to miss this place, even the people. it wont quite be the same back home. as i look back on my year, its hard to say if it's been a success or a failure. i've definitely learned a lot, most of it outside the classroom, about people, about life, and most importantly, about myself. I have my disappointments and i've done things that i've regretted, and if i had the chance, i'd go back and undo them. But you can't undo the past, and perhaps the best thing you can do is learn from your mistakes. i'm thankful for the friends that have been there along the way to help me through the year. i was talking to sharon a while back, and she mentioned it's neat how God will put people into your life, even if for only a brief while, just when you need that person to be there. as i thought about it more, i realized how true that was. a lot of people came through when i really needed it, and i have no idea where i'd be without them. but beyond that, it'll be good to be home. as i was cleaning out my drawer today, i pulled out a card my parents had given me when i first moved into res. i hadn't read it since, and i opened it up again. i won't bore you with the details, but one line stuck out. it said, 'we'll miss you but we trust you'll make us proud.' i got a bit teary-eyed as i read it and thought about that. have i made my parents proud? have i made God proud? and so, once again im reminded that it's not really what you do or how good your marks are that'll make your parents proud. it's the kind of person that you are. and i earnestly pray that i will become the person that will make my parents proud, that will make my heavenly father proud.

and so, as i depart from this first chapter of my new university life, i leave you with this. may you find true rest, peace, and comfort in our Lord Jesus Christ:

No More My God, I boast no more
Of all the duties I have done
I quit the hopes I held before,
To trust the merits of They Son

No more my God
No more my God
No more my God
I boast no more.

Now, for the loss I bear his name,
What was my gain I count my loss
My former pride I call my shame
And nail my glory to His cross

Yes, and I must, I will esteem
All things but loss for Jesus' sake
O may my soul be found in Him
And of His righteousness partake
Amen, amen

The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before Thy throne
But faith can answer Thy demands
By pleading what my Lord has done

what's up:
1 exam done today
2 exams left (one tomorrow, one wednesday)
3 days til i go chill with alex
4 th time ive had pizza in as many days
5 gloves to play with at softball today
6 more topics of philosophy for me to study tonight (and tomorrow morning)
7 game series - those leafs never do quit
8 a whole pizza for dinner
9 ty-four percent win ratio in freecell
10 goals in the first 5 minutes of nhl2002 team canada vs. team usa

worst hockey player in the world: robert reichel

not quite what greeted me this morning as i threw open my blinds, but nonetheless, it's still a very nice day. oh, and have you heard? - he's alive :)

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

you know you're china when...

there's a potential fire in your building and you elect to stay in your room to eat rice and study. oh wch. im going to miss you and your crazy fire drills.

on a lighter note, i think my sickness is progressing through the usual stages. no more lumps in my throat, just a really dry cough now. so hopefully it'll be gone by the time monday rolls around. 3 exams. 3 days. should be a fun time. anyways thanks to those who called or left a note to see how i was doing ,dont worry im still kickin it and alive. whats been up with me? lemme regale you with the details:
monday: spent most of the day trying to get over my cough and studying. didnt end up studying too much, just felt too sick
tuesday: woke up at 8:00, studied 12 chapters in 20 minutes, then wrote my psych exam at 9. it actually wasnt THAT bad. i missed a lot of those mc though. but the ones i knew, oh boy, i knew them good. :) then at night, went to anita's for a surprise party for erica, which was nice. we played mafia and charades and had sushi. twas fun. cept me being the only guy there for a while. (honestly we need some more boys at lccf. no wait. no more boys. MEN.)
wednesday: studied a bit in the liberry again, then leo and joseph came up to visit, which was great. except leo's got big problems and seemingly enjoys acting like a pagan 24/7 now :) but nonetheless, it was nice. we played some pool (i was on yesterday) and then we went to mels to eat with sharon and got jer as well, and then we dropped sharon off (she had an exam the next day) and went to clt to see katie. we watched the game there and played jitz, then left after 2nd period to go get jon (who just finished his exam). so then we went to philthy's to watch the game and have a few drinks, then we left after 2nd ot to go back to jon's to watch 3rd ot. those bums lost it in ot (argh) and so then we went to go see jon's potato gun, which shoots like a somoma... :) its insane.
thursday (today): once again, went to the liberry to study for a few hours. i was so distracted, couldnt concentrate, but still got some studying done. then we came back to res, i basically hung around and didnt really study too much while sharon wrote her exam. then i hung out with her while she packed, and she left back for toronto a little while ago. then the fire alarm.. yah okay we're caught up.

anyways, im up here pretty much on my own this weekend, most ppl are back in t.o, so i should be able to get some studying done. so once again, good luck on exams, study hard, and finish strong!

bleh. still sick. hackin up a storm. anyone know what to do? it hurts when i swallow. it feels like theres a lump in my throat. anyways yeah. had my biz exam on saturday, went okay i spose. i didnt know some stuff, but thats inevitable. next up, psychology on tuesday. a beast of an exam. 17 chapters. oh goodness. anyways, this'll be nice and short, just to let you know im still alive! good luck to all of you writing exams, happy studying.

happenings:
i just love my leafs. watched the game in the lounge today with the 'guys'. not a bad game, coulda ended up a lot worse, so we'll take the win. what else? im getting sick. or make that, im officially sick. still cant open the dimetapp bottle. its so messed up. luckily, been taking buckleys (almost out) and sharon's got robitussin. haha have you seen chris rock's bigger and blacker? 'get that tussin in there real good' ahhaha :) oh yeah. and my mom told me someone called for an interview today. but i dont want the job. cuz its telemarketing. and my dad said that thats no good cuz telemarketers just screw people over. haahha :) so none of that.

feelings:
sick. tired. sick and tired. im sick and tired of being sick and tired. (i stole that from somewhere. im really not that clever)

viewings:
hockey, shane, finished the tuxedo (ugh), the replacements (even worse).

playings:
mohaa, spider solitaire, free cell. oh and air guitar, beauty for ashes.

eatings:
burger and fries for lunch, goldfish and tuna on crackers for dinner, and a nice bowl of chicken vegetable soup to wash it down.

listenings:
rebel worship, sufficiency, shane.

recommends:
very nice: http://www.wellwatermusic.com/mp3/scratch1.mp3

most frequently visited websites:
www.google.com
www.nba.com
www.nhl.com
jello108.blogspot.com
stripey.net/shane
www.workopoliscampus.com
www.cnn.com
mail.yahoo.com

people i talked to today:
mom and dad
sharon
jenbo
leo
justin (not myself)

sick: im feeling
at least 20: number of times i've pissed today
crystal clear: the color of my pee
buckley's: my best friend, again
childproof dimetapp lid: my adversary
7: the number of iced tea refills at harveys today
incredibly: level of boredness
50-60: job applications so far
50-60: rejections so far
smith band: most recently listened to
medal of honor: most recently played
shane and shane: most recently watched
sharon: most recently called
product classification: last thing i studied
5: number of exams
86: approximate hours til first exam
3.5: length of first exam
1/10th: how much i know for that first exam
18: days til im home
3: how many times i've had poutine in the past 3 days (not incl. today)
sublet: looking for
dad: happy birthday
shaggy: my hair
bum: my recent choice of clothes
113: current freecell streak
12: my bedtime tonight
sharon's line to free up: waiting for
jenbo: currently talking to
out: im

thoughts:
none really, just tired, need to study more. need to pray more for friends. talked to 2 old friends today, both of which i've said i'd pray for, but in both cases i've forgotten and failed them.

happenings:
yesterday: went to the liberry to study, watched a bit of battle royale w/ amy sharon evie alex, but it was way too gorey and disturbing, so switched to more comical and upbeat rat race.
today: went to make-up review lab at 10, pretty useless, came back, didnt do much work all day, took a nice nap, went to mels w/ sharon and erica for $2 burgers and mini mels. sooo bad for my throat.
the next few days: need to apply for cc, study like a maniac for exams, get healthy.

feelings:
bleh. sore throat, kinda tired, headaches throughout the day. hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow. and no, it's not sars.

viewings:
wow, lots over the past few days. hmm wedding planner, spaceballs, a wonderful grease lightning talent show video (feat. evie the superstar, the man-girl, and the girl who does nothing haha), 1/3rd of battle royale, rat race, saved by the bell, 15 more mins of tuxedo (can't watch too much of it at once, so bad).

playings:
guitar is back home. so recently, been playing guesstures, mafia, medal of honor, more freecell (up to 100 consecutive again).

listenings:
kirk whalum - the gospel according to jazz vol.1, the schuers, jubilation!

readings:
trying to drag myself back into colossians, going very slowly. very tough, especially with exams in the way. but still, it needs to be done.

recommends:
decorate dave: http://www.ubcwaco.org/connect/default.aspx?pageID=440
in his eye!: http://www.broadband.rogers.com/news/iraq_war/story.jsp?cid=7040569AU

yet another fun nite: sharon amy and i went to clintons house during the day to watch spaceballs, then we got dinner and a whole bunch of us lccfers went over to rani's place at about 9:30, we played mafia (hehe very very fun) and just hung around talking until 2 something. very very fun. very very tired. oh yah. and yay for snow days :) you'd think once you get to university they dont have em anymore, but nope, just like elementary school and hs. :) hehe anyways, way too late, time for bed. ai ya. see y'all later.

had a fun time at anita's tonight. sharon, rani and myself went over (braving the crazy april ice storm) and we played mario party and mario tennis and watched the wedding planner. and anita had lotsandlots of food like those yummy crispy rice thingys and toast with smoked salmon cream cheese and popcorn and cheese and crackers and cantaloupe and a million different kinds of juices. as you can tell, great food :) and rani gave us little 'study packages', basically full of candy from sugar mountain. mmm! haha im not studying with any of my friends anymore. my candy! moohaah :) no no you can all have some. anyways, as we near this final stretch of studying and exams, to everyone whos going through stressful times, i wish you all the best!

here's to: 7, hopefully more to come.

thoughts:
lccf sharing tonight, God's been doing some amazing things in people's lives. looks like we'll have more ppl on the commitee than those attending. as for me, been thinking more about myself and who i am, and perhaps more about who i want to be and who God wants me to be. but its late now, so i wont bore you with details :)

happenings:
lccf - very long (4 hrs?) but good. lots of sharing, very tiring, but it was good to listen to what God's been up to. now im very tired and its time for bed though :) only 2 more days of classes.

feelings:
pretty decent, needing some time to talk to God, but doing okay.

viewings:
nothing to note, no movies or tv shows or anything. i spose the latest would be south park? :)

playings:
medal of honor (wicked game)

listenings:
jeremy camp (been stuck in my head for days.. so good), kirk whalum

readings:
archie comics. even CHRISTIAN archie comics. haah i didnt know they existed either. thanks edmund. zero studying. all archie. :) colossians is going slowly. i've been slacking and missed a few days. so thats not good at all. i think im up to 11 or 12 now? chugging along slowly, one day at a time. come on ppl. encourage me! :P

recommends:
talk to someone a few years older than you. theyve got a lot to share and you can learn a lot.

beyond tired. quick recap of a great night:
had lccf, book study of mere christianity, pretty good. afterwards, sharon rani jon dan clinton rob and myself went to go get pizza nova cuz we were hungry. mmm. then jon went home and the rest of us went to clinton's place. there we ate pizza and sharon rani clinton dan and me talked until 1ish. which was very nice. then we left and dropped dan off at wcri and figured, hey lets see if anita is still awake. so we found her living room window and her light was on, and so rani sharon and i got out of the car and threw snowballs at her window. but no one came to the window. so then we thought, hey why dont we go around and find her room window. so we threw another snowball and then she peeked out and saw us and invited us up. so we stayed until 3ish just talking to anita and euming and playing with the doggie. and that was very nice as well. and now its almost 4. and i have class tomorrow morning. so i believe it is time to sleep! ahhhhhhh very tired. great night. gnite! :)

thoughts:
ill be brief, mainly cuz im tired: friendships, relationships, my own life, my character, my personality, my behavior.

happenings:
nothing much happened at all today. i suppose the bright point of the day was in psych when my friend and i did a crossword during the lecture. we didnt finish it, but it was still rather exciting. what a sad sad life i lead.

feelings:
totally oblivious to what's happening around me. just kinda zoned out right now (probably from my tiredness). but overall, feeling pretty decent.

viewings:
undeclared, south park, john mayer.

playings:
guitar (my stupid mouth), games (battlefield 1942, cs, freecell)

listenings:
jonny diaz (new album release - www.jonnydiaz.com), shane and shane (again new album release), jeremy camp (if you havent heard of him, check him out at www.jeremycamp.com. go read his bio, its amazing)

readings:
cnn.com, star, post, euthyphro probelm, colossians.

recommends:
take a moment, right now, to evaluate where you are with God. nothing big, just take a second to think about it.

thoughts:
im odd. you ever come to that conclusion that you're just really weird? not really quite the same as everyone else, kinda out there and different? i suppose the thing is, we all are. which makes it okay. but i guess today i was just thinking back and evaluating some of my past actions, and i realize that a lot of the time i have no rationale for a lot of the things i do. and more often than not, i'll say one thing and do something completely opposite. which is pretty hypocritical. so i guess that got me thinking a bit more about myself.

happenings:
cfc was good today. they had baptism in a horse trough! so cool. haha it looked really gheto but it was cool. and then this guy sang a jeremy camp song so that was cool. anyways, ken taylor talked about faith and jesus walking on water, brought up a few interesting points. the first one was that God requires us to have faith because hes far too big for us. if he really showed us all of himself, he'd consume us, overwhelm us. thats why he withdraws and holds a bit of himself back, and requires us to have faith. the second interesting point he made was that its not so much how much faith you have, but more importantly, where you place your faith. very interesting distinction. so yah, what else. tonight was grad dinner for all the uwccf and laurier ccf grads. interesting. haha actually no, what can i say, it was pretty boring. so long, and we left early too. the powerpoint slide show or whatever was a good half hour it seemed. ridiculous. and then the sharing. i mean some of it was good. but then there was some that was just like. 'uh and then the car broke down. duh.' so that was gay, and i was getting restless, so we ended up leaving at about 11 anyways. thats crazy. like 5 hours and its still not over. jeez louise. im dissapointed i didnt get to tell a few grads what theyve done for me though. so i really have no idea if they'll read this, but i think its important to point out just a few. firstly, anita. ive blogged about her in the past, but for those who dont remember, shes a hero girl. like shes totally in a league of her own in terms of heroeness. im quite sure shes the nicest person i've ever met in my entire life. i still remember, she made sharon and i feel very welcome at our new school, just by reaching out in love like a big sister and watching out for us, taking care of us. see, today at grad dinner a lot of ppl were saying how a lot of the grads were really cool, really nice, all this stuff. but the thing is, they never really talked to me. anita actually physically showed that she cared, and thats so important. she really inspires me to be a better person, more like her, and in turn more like jesus, because i know that its jesus that i see in her. you've been the greatest anita, and i cannot wish for you anything less than God himself to permeate and radiate from your life. i know you will shine as the brightest star in the universe. yah. and the other grad i should say something to is nate. i havent really talked about nate, and im pretty sure he doesnt read this, but hes a real quiet kinda guy. during frosh week with all those uwccf events i remember, i felt really out of place a lot of the time, and he was actually the first one to come and sit there to talk to me. thats a pretty nice thing for a 4th year to do, sit and talk to this geeky frosh kid. when i went to ccf the first few months of the year, he would always make it a point to talk to me as well. i dunno, but these little things really do make you feel better, and sometimes they're totally necessary. so to nate, just wanted to say thanks man, and i know that God will lead you along his path to the crown of righteousness. all the best.

feelings:
once again, quite mellow, but in a pleasant mood.

viewings:
mm that show undeclared (with the college kids), veggie tales - cheeseburger song, one too many slideshow presentations.

listenings:
shane and shane (oh goodness, so good you dont understand), jeremy camp.

readings:
jesus the one and only (beth moore), colossians, the reflective life (ken gire).

recommends:
wrap your mind around this, from r.a. torrey:

"if loving God with all our heart and soul and might is the greatest commandment, then it follows that not loving him that way is the greatest sin."

thoughts:
im a big chicken. so today most of my florr went to the toronto rock game, and i finally decided to go out into the lounge to watch some college basketball. great stuff. but im too chicken to go unless no one's there. and then we had this crazy thing at our residence and they had free burgers, but i didnt go (even though i was dead starving) just cuz i was scared of the people. theyre crazy i tells ya! but that got me thinking about how thats the mindset we take with Christ sometimes. we have such an apparent and desperate need, a hunger for Him. but i guess for whatever reason sometimes we refuse to accept the free blessings he offers us, just cuz we're a little scared perhaps. so i guess that encouraged me to go after Christ more, but not really to talk to people more :) haha but thats okay. one more cool thought: God is totally unpredictable sometimes. very surprising, a funny kinda God. :) lemme explain, so im in the library photocopying stuff that i need to hand in later, and i run out of money with two sheets left to photocopy (20 cents worth). so im on the fifth floor, so i go back down to the main floor to go borrow money from sharon, and i was planning on going back up to the 5th floor to finish those two pages, cuz the photocopiers on the main floor are always mad busy. so sharon just tells me to use the ones on the main floor so i dont have to walk all the way up, and so when i go to the copier, theres actually 20 cents leftover from the last person using it. i guess they didnt need or want the change. so i thought that was just kinda cool. what'd i tell you? God's kinda funny :)

happennings:
well the craziness is over. last night i finished my philosophy paper, this morning i had my business presentation (went okay), and then in the afternoon i finished and submitted my soc paper. so this soc paper, i have to like print out articles and crap, and i d/l this one journal and its in pdf right. so i open it with adobe but i cant copy or select the text. what the crap. so i asked emily and she said that they put some kind of anti-copy tool in order to protect copyright stuff. but thats stupid. so i really didnt wanna waste twenty something pages printing off what i could EASILY fit into maybe ten pages (2 on each page). so i ended up copying each slide as a graphic and posting it word, then printing that out. only 6 pages long. crazy adobe. mad gay. but im very glad that everything is kinda finally wrapping up. fantastic. on a more glum note, my freecell streak ended at 133 with a very careless move. sigh. and then i was playing guitar, and was just starting to learn some john mayer and it was finally starting to sound decent... and then my string broke. and i dont have another one, so bleh. i have liek 10 E's 6 B's and 3 D's but absolutely no G's. man what is it about those G-strings? sheesh :) haha so that sucks. hmm what else. i also took my passport photo today, cuz my dad wanted to get them all updated or something next wk. so that was okay, it was a little more expensive than i thought it would be, but the lady was nice, and at least its done now! so yah. and the colossians update - going well, on to v.8! im kinda getting better acquainted with it, but some parts that i already know i kinda mix up the words which is bad. so hopefully i can stay on top of that. its kinda cool. this whole like renewing your mind thing. everywhere i go, when im walking or in class, im always reciting it and saying it to myself. and then today when i was waiting to meet some friends for dinner, and i was like 20 minutes early, it was great, cuz i was just reciting it over and over again. renew your mind!

feelings:
definitely tired, kinda dizzy, but generally decent.

viewings:
ncaa march madness, bits of the raps game, bits of the sens game, this nike basketball parody (its pretty funny i thought), d/l the veggietales jonah video (havent wathced it yet), john mayer, koo chung.

listenings:
john mayer.

readings:
all these ghetto sociology articles, colossians, no newspaper today really.

recommends:
boycott adobe.

thoughts:
war war war. what else would i be thinking about? it doesn't really seem like it's happening i guess. ive had some very mixed opinions about the war, wavering back and forth, at times not really anti-americanism, just dont like what theyre doing, and at other times being able to fully justify what they're doing. i guess i've yet to reach a determinate conclusion, but i can say this much: it doesn't do any good to debate or argue about it now. its going on, so just start praying. for george, saddam, the soldiers, civilians. pray for God's will to be done. pray for the salvation of souls. pray for God to be glorified and magnified through it all.

blessed are the peacemakers.

happenings:
as some of you may know, i've been rather busy lately. had those two papers, both due tomorrow, along with a business presentation. well i finished my one philosophy paper (coincidentally on the war), and im actually leaving my soc until tomorrow. :) dont worry, its due at 4:30pm. i think. hahaha :) we'll see how that goes. as for business, i met with my group today, and it didnt really go too well. i rush myself to get there on time, and the rest of them show up 10, 20 minutes late. two of them decided to postpone the meeting and forgot to inform me. wonderful. anyways, we practised our stuff, not very well, so now we've gotta meet at 7:30 tomorrow morning before lab to go over it. honestly. sigh. only a few more weeks left. anyways, i think i'll be okay for that. hmm what else? i applied to more jobs today, just sending my resume out there with the same old cover letter template. wonderful! haha someone simply must hire me! i mean come on! :) haha on a similar note, on saturday i am going with ken and dan from ccf to go count cars. yes. thats correct. we're going somewhere to count cars. im not sure how it works exactly, but all i know is we sit there for 5 hours, counting cars, and at the end of it we get $90 cash. not too shabby i spose! :) so im actually looking forward to that. somewhat. how sad is that? :) and for a completely random note, the colossians memorizing is going fairly well. im up to v.6 now. so keep bugging me and hold me on track for that.

feelings:
slightly fatigued, sore right knee, a little worried about the paper tomorrow, but still good nonetheless.

viewings:
40 days and 40 nights (horrible movie. very crude. i had to skip some parts), the tuxedo (even worse, had to delete it after half the movie), 722 (great. simply great. heh i think i know what i need more of, and what i need less of)

listenings:
kirk whalum (jazz saxophonist), random secular songs (treble charger, weezer, third eye blind, angie aparo, etc), vineyard - if you say go, cnn radio, 680news.

readings:
colossians, newspapers, cnn.com, msnbc.com, education and society today.

recommends:
say this aloud, and finish the sentence:

God, you are...

again. and again. and again. until you run out of things to say.

"if i dont photograph this, people like my mom will think war is what they see on tv."
~Kenneth Jarecke, Photographer.

thoughts:
no particulars at the moment, just a feeling of God is up there, and im down here. and thats the way its sposed to be. ever really think about that? its kind of a weird paradox if you think about it. the only way for us to get close to God is for us to put as much distance between God and us as possible. if i think im an equal with God, theres no way that i'll ever see him for who he is and really draw near to him. but if i lay myself down low, and i exalt and lift God as high as possible, therein he draws near to us, and we experience his presence. odd isnt it?

i lift you high
and bow down low
how high can you be?
how low can i go?

happenings:
i handed in my course selection stuff today, haah it wasn't late at all. these deadlines mean nothing! time to abuse it now! haha seriously there was absolutely no problem. so thats good to get it out of the way. got my eco test back, did pretty poorly, so i'll have to pull it up with finals again, just like last term. sigh. i hope i do well enough to stay in my program. it shouldnt be that much of an issue, but to be honest im a bit worried. i need to work harder. i met up with my biz group tonight and we did the powerpoint for our presentation on friday. so that one thing is out of the way. still have to do soc paper and philosophy paper. i found ev today in the library and i stole her book, so at least ive got something to go with for now. man i have no idea what this soc paper is going to be about. its so incoherent. haah but good thing is it only needs to be 4.5 pages double space max. :) haahah crazy university. anyways, other news. fred hammond's tour got cancelled so no go there. :( boourns! so it looks like nothings gonna go down with concerts this yr. but nonetheless, im very excited. shanes cd release is one week from today. errr.. yesterday. we've all already pre-ordered, so this is a very exciting time for me :) haha i cant wait. and also, applied to more jobs today. maybe im worried i wont get one, so i just tried more and more. haha i figure if i apply to a few hundred jobs, i cant be rejected for ALL of them now. or can i? :)

feelings:
complacent, not wanting to do much work, just feel like sittin and bummin around.

viewings:
a video clip that showed bush picking his nose

listenings:
caedmons call/derek webb, the schuers (www.schuers.com).

recommends:
try to go a day without saying anything. you'll be amazed at what you'll learn.